Grace

Well, this week there have been a few times where I have come face to face with my own silliness and sinfulness. Whether it be putting my foot in my mouth for the hundredth time, or worring about something I have no control over, or reading into things instead of enjoying them, or failing to love someone well, I have realized a precious gift in response: laughter. Not laughter that ignors the seriousness of these things, or pretends that they didn't happen, but laughter that embraces the grace that I have been offered through Jesus christ. Jesus death and resurection has offered me so much, but one of the things that amazes me is the ability to embrace and live life fully and freely. Free from guilt or shame; able to laugh at myself and share my faults with others. Knowing that I am covered by Christ's sacrifice on my behalf. I have nothing to fear; not because I am great, because the Lord knows that on my own I am nothing, but because nothing can defeat Christ in me. I have complete confidence that christ can defeat all that comes against me, even aspects of myself at times. This reality leaves me smiling, and yes, laughing at times; stuned by the undeserved priviledge of enjoying Christ's grace. There is no greater gift, and there is no greater joy than that that comes from learning to recieve it daily. I am in love beyond what I can express with the one who loves me beyond what I deserve.

So tonight I got the answer to my earlier post about depressing movies: "Rat Race". After I published my last post my older brother and sister-in-law asked me if I had seen "Rat Race". When I said no, my brother declared that I was not alowd to graduate until I had seen this movie. After this conversation I left and went home and came back the next week unsuspecting. When i walked in however, there were balloons everwhere and a big sign that said "Thank You". The girls ran up all excited and Ryan and Dana explained that tonight was going to be Ashley night! Can you believe that? I have never had my own night before. I was already so excited, but the surprises kept coming. They brought out presents and gave me ice cream, soda, Krunchers, and the one movie that has been missing from my film collection: "On the Waterfront". They then told me that we were having tomato rice soup and grilled cheese for dinner and wonderful pastries for desert! My goodness it was amazing! All of my favorites in one night! Finally though, they told me that we were watching this crazy movie so that I can proceed to graduation. I dont know what to say about the movie other than that it was hystarical and we laughed so hard that we cried! This was of course the perfect anecdote to my earlier movie dilema and I am so greatful. But in the end funny movies are wonderful but family is priceless. I was so blessed by their love and all that they did to encourage me and it was a smashing success. I was able to enjoy a good movie with good company and good food! Now that is how to spend a thursday night. Thanks guys!

Film: Its a Love Hate Relationship

K...so here's the thing. I am a film major, which means that

I end up watching a lot of movies that my professors think are beneficail examples of various kinds of film elements. In the past 3 weeks the following are the films that have been considered benefical in some way:

First is "3:10 to Yuma", which was a good example of a conventional film. It just so happens that this conventional film has an unconventional ending in which the main character, and only respectable one in the film, is shot numerous times. The second film was "The Player", an example of a more complex, but still conventional film. This film happens to be about a man who commits murder, gets away with it, and manages to cheat on his girlfriend with the deadmans girlfriend. He gets promoted to president of the company that he works for and the girlfriend of the man he murdered can't help but fall in love with him and they get married and, everybody now, live happily ever after. Finally, we have "Zodiac", which in short is a film about a serial killer. Enough said about that one? I think so. Anyone see a trend...a fairly dismal and depressing sort of trend? The bottom line is that I need a pick me up. So if you have any sugestions let me know, but first I have designed a quiz to help you determine if I am interested or not. So please, before submitting ideas, answer the following questions:

1. Do numerous people die?

2. Does it seem to have an odd attachment to skepticism, brutality, or other generally depressing subjects?

3. Does it seem to think that any redemptive element is overrated, and so should be left out?

4. Does it find death to be a more interesting subject than life?

If the answer to any of these questions is yes then please suggest something else. Feel free to go in the opposite direction even and offer something uplifting, redemptive, perhaps even funny. After all when given the choice I would rather laugh than cry.

The Long and Short of It!

K, So here's the deal, a couple of years ago I moved back to the great STL to go to Webster University. My first two roommates were Melissa and Adrienne. Then, in a wonderful turn of events Melissa had the wedding of her dreams and moved to Cinncinati. And then there were two...looking for a third. In comes Bekah Baker. And then, once again, there were three, me, Adrienne, and Bekah. Next came the unfolding of wonderful events that lead to the engagement of Adrienne who then moved out. And in her place Bekah and I accepted Tori. Then a few months later there was Jenna. She was a friend who needed a place to live so naturally she moved in. So now its a couple months later still, and Bekah has announced that she wants to move out...next week! Then, oh yes there is more good news, Jenna decides that she is going to move out because Bekah is...next month, which you guessed it leaves me and Tori spliting a 930 dollar per month rent. This is clearly a sticky situation, which I am not excited about, but am sure will be fine. What increases the stickiness is that my jumbeled emotions are telling me that I am tiered of being left, and tierd of adjusting only to be left again. So if you know of anyone who needs a place to stay and by stay I am refering to more than a place to lay their head...Please, send them my way! P.S. Tori, I'm glad that you are staying!

Cake

So I honestly never though that I would say this, but lets talk about cake for a minuet. After all it is what I do and have been doing for the last year. Prior to this job I would say that I did not qualify as a cake person in any way. I didn't particualarly like to eat it, I had never considered baking one, and i certainly had never considered that the construction of a cake was extremly complex. But more importantly I didn't know that this four letter word could cause so much anger. I didn't realize that frosting a cake teal instead of terquoise could alter the temperature in the room by about 20 degrees because the woman in front of me is about to blow. I had no idea that in order to get 2 more cupcakes than policy allows someone would leave, walk out to their car, and then come back in and demand that extra 2 while explaining that the sign says "12 at a time" not "12 per day" or "12 per person". I had no idea that a singel cake order could be important enough to keep me on the phone multiple times per day for an entire week "ironing out the details". And I certianly had no idea that a wedding cake could be 5 tiers and serve 539 people and cost well over 1,000 dollars. The long and short if it is that I know better now. So when taking on things that seem to be the less important things of life such as cake, beware. What is water off a ducks back to you may cause another person to push up daisys prematurly.

So here's the deal: Meet Shiloh my new, as of November that is, buddy. And believe me he is my buddy, in fact I commonly refer to him as my shadow. So My Shadow would never hurt a fly, except of course if it was an accident and then it seems that the fly that gets hurt is me. The other day I jumped on my bed and he followed. Unfortunately he slid and his back foot went up my shirt and left my back looking like a a scratching post. I asked my roommate how bad it looked and she said: "On the bright side you're not bleeding!" So note to self: when you get your dogs claws trimed make sure to have them filed. This way they are not so sharp and cannot cause harm. So I am extreamly happy with my new shadow and not so happy with his claws!

So aparently the writer of this modern day tribute to the late and brillant Jane Austen didn't feel the need to rise to the standard of writing that Jane set. Where some of the storylines, of which there are 6, are interesting they are less than steller. In fact, the words that come to mind are odd, or weird, or any other similar adjective. This compilation of love stories from all walks of life offers a little something for everyone. Unfortunately while some of the stories are stisfying, but once agian odd, the others fall short of depth or relevance. In the end you are left with your hands in the air, unsure of what to say, and wondering if it was worth the 4 dollar rental fee. So all in all it is not a complete waste of time but one thing is certain...it is woefully lacking the revered Jane Austen touch.

Value Check

So I don't have any fun or grose stories for this week. So instead I want to do a value check, meaning I want to take a moment to remember our value. It is so easy to get caught up in life and business and lose ourselves, and a part of that is losing sight of who we are and how much we are loved. There are many verses about this, but I have a favorite. Some of you know this.

Zephaniah 3:17 says this "For the Lord your God is with you! He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, and he will quiet you with his love, And he will rejoice over you with singing!"

These are promises! The God of the universe rejoices over us! He protects us! He is always with us! And He DELIGHTS in us! What an amazing priviledge. So lets take it one step further and make it just a bit more personal. He rejoices over you! He protects you! He is always with you! And he DELIGHTS in you!

I hope that in the midst of business...ok lets be honest insanity, the ocasional bout of confusion that bogs us down, and the doubt that is our companion more than we like to admit...remember that you are dearly loved and that is a part of your identity that never has to be confusing or doubted. It is sure.

Great Times

So after an unbelievably grose evening and I mean that entirly literally, this movie and some quality roommate time were a fabulous cure to a stinky day. And when I say stinky I mean the kind of stinky that happens when your sewage backs up into your basement, spills out from under your washer and dryer, and then soaks into all of the clothes that you were planing on cleaning. However, after a chaty Roto Rooter guy stopped by fixed and cleaned up everything, my roommates and I setteled down to a Dewey's pizza and the oh so entertaining "Hairspray". This combination was an incredibly pleasant end to what was looking like a not so pleasent evening. So I am going to take a couple of moments here for thank yous:

1. Thank you to the Roto Rooter guy who not only fixed the issue but spared my roommates and I from the anticipted clean up. We owe you one.

2.Thanks to my roommates Jenna and Tori for enjoying a pizza and a movie with me. It is my favorite form of therapy, and good company always makes it that much better!:)

3. Thank you to Dewey's for making such incredily wonderful pizza.

4. And thank you to the producers and all those included in the making of "Hairspray" which is a wonderful film with fabulous music, energizing coreography, and of course some interesting points.

Kudos to childhood pass-times that never grow old!

So I am sitting inside at the Ronald McDonald House thinking that a good swing would be fabulous. This may seem silly to some but the fact of the matter is that there are some things that you just don't grow out of. One such thing is the feeling of reaching for the sky and feeling just a little closer to it for a moment. My absolute favorite is swing at night, when all the stars are out. I feel free, a little like a child, and for a couple of moments all of the things that I have too, need to, or want to do are forgotten. The night sky has also always left me in awe, and despite the enormity of it, it always makes me feel a little closer to the one who created it and me for that matter. I feel surrounded, held, and I love that feeling. So heres to my childhood pass time of swinging, which I hope to never forget to make time for in my adulthood.

What the heck?

Well hello all! This is new to me but it seems like fun. Dana you have inspired me!...sadly I think that that is all I have to say for now.:( Alright will do better next time.